ST. AUGUSTINE, FL – A murder-suicide involving a former Toms River resident is causing the community to focus on how domestic violence is more common than people realize and what can be done about it.
Detective Daniel Leyden was on vacation with his girlfriend, Sheriff’s Deputy Abigail Bieber. They both worked for the Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office in Florida. Police said that during an argument, Leyden murdered Bieber before turning the gun on himself.
It is unclear if Leyden, who used to live in Toms River, was ever a police officer in New Jersey.
When news of the tragedy spread to Toms River, people wanted to know how a rising star in the department with a bright future in law enforcement did this. A social media post made by a previous girlfriend made claims of domestic violence, and also said that her accusations had been ignored by his superiors.
The Sheriff’s Department put out a statement that read, in part: “The recent allegations made against Daniel Leyden are deeply concerning and are being investigated, and we welcome anyone with information to please come forward and speak with detectives.”
How To Spot Domestic Violence
The Toms River Times reached out to Dottie’s House, a domestic violence shelter in Ocean County. Clinical Program Supervisor Jamie Peto and Case Manager Karen Kirton spoke about how to recognize abuse and how to escape it. They are not familiar with the case and spoke generally about these topics.
Domestic violence comes in many forms, which makes it sometimes difficult to spot, they said. It’s not always physical or sexual violence. It could be financial, where the abuser takes control of all resources and tells the victim how they will never survive on their own without them. It is often emotional, where the victim is belittled and talked down to. Emotional and verbal abuse is still abuse.
One thing abusers have in common is that they isolate their victim from their family and friends. They only see the abuser’s family and friends.
“They gain control and don’t allow the victim to have any outside support or contacts,” Peto said.
Some get physical right away but some use charisma to get what they want, Kirton explained. They come off as very charming, and someone who might be a great provider. “Most people in their life wouldn’t know that they are an abuser.”
The abuser might appear to be trying to help but they are really taking control of situations, Peto said. The victim might have a bad family situation, and the abuser appears to be a knight in shining armor taking them out of that family situation. But what they are really doing is taking control of the victim and cutting them off from a part of their life.
Cycles Of Abuse
Many abusive couples go through a cycle of abuse. Everything is OK for a while, maybe even great. Then things slowly take a turn for the worst. The situation hits rock bottom and then the abuser apologizes and things are back to being OK for a while.
“They are trying to pull you back in,” Peto said. They make it hard to leave. “You think things are going to get better even if they aren’t.”
Just because things are fine for a time doesn’t mean you’re not in an abusive situation, she warned. This is a common cycle, and if it looks familiar, you probably need some help getting out.
Dottie’s House encourages education for children in middle school to learn what a healthy relationship is. “Even at an early age, they need to see what love looks like.”
Peto shared that a lot of abuse victims come from a family where there was abuse between parents. They saw that as normal. They might even seek out a partner that is similar to the abusive parent. They are perpetuating the cycle.
How To Get Help
Experts say the first thing you should do is call the National Domestic Violence Hotline, which is available 24 hours a day: 800-799-7233. If your health or safety is in danger, call the police.
When someone realizes they are in a situation like this, they often don’t know where to go for help. They don’t have any money of their own. They are not sure what will happen to the children. There are a lot of questions. They might not even know they have options, Kirton said. Visiting web sites like DottiesHouse.org can help educate you.
Most domestic violence websites have a panic button on them, Peto said. That means you can research a program online. And if your partner walks in, you can click the button and it will delete it from your search history.
As the Hillsborough Sheriff’s Office said: “No one should be afraid to come forward, because doing so could save not only your life, but the life of a future victim.”
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is available 24 hours a day: 800-273-8255.
About Abby
According to the Orlando Sentinel, Bieber, 30, worked with the department since 2018. She was described as a role model for children.
“As a passionate advocate for child victims, Deputy Bieber frequently and diligently responded to calls for service related to sexual battery and child abuse,” the department said in a statement.
“Deputy Abigail Bieber was an outstanding law enforcement officer, and by all accounts, an even better person who left a positive impact on every member of her squad and the countless members of our community who she encountered while on patrol,” Sheriff Chad Chronister said in a statement. “This tragedy has left our sheriff’s office family grief-stricken. There is a void within our hearts that can never be filled, but I hope that Deputy Bieber’s legacy will be the way she lived her life, as a selfless servant.”
As a Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Deputy, she worked patrol shifts but also worked undercover. She aspired to work as a detective in the Special Victims Section, investigating crimes against children.
“Additionally, Abby worked many off-duty shifts at Tampa Bay Downs where, once again, her infectious personality and enthusiasm made her many deep and abiding friendships,” her obituary stated.
In lieu of flowers, donations may be made in her name to the Mary Lee’s House, 2806 N. Armenia Ave., Tampa, 33607 (maryleeshouse.org); Max and Me Pet Rescue, 12191 W. Linebaugh Ave. #554, Tampa, FL 33626; or The Boys and girls Club c/o Sam and Laurice Hachem Foundation Club at Town ‘n country Park, 6039 Hanley Road, Tampa, FL 33634.
